Funny New Baby Card Messages

Congratulations on your new sleep schedule: 'random'.

Welcome to the club where you leave the house and immediately forget why. Congratulations on your baby.

They are beautiful! Now quick — sleep, eat, shower. Repeat for eighteen years. Congratulations.

You created a whole human. It has not even started being grateful yet. Congratulations.

Congratulations! Your identity now belongs to someone else. You have never been happier about it.